The 7 Essentials to Communicate in Alzheimer’s Land

Next time you meet with a person facing Alzheimer’s disease, I invite you to try out these 7 efficient ways to communicate, one at a time, but before you do so, it is important to remember to trust your instinct and be open to changing the plan. By observing the person’s body language, you will be able to know if it’s time for a calm activity or if it’s better to go walking or get excited with a rock and roll song. In order to observe somebody, you first need to connect with yourself by breathing deeply a few times; and then off you go with courage and confidence!

1. Eye Contact

So many times, I have seen people get frustrated with Alzheimer’s patients because they weren’t doing what they were told to do or they weren’t answering the questions asked. In each case, the caregiver or healthcare worker was not engaging through eye contact.

If you only use your voice and have not made eye contact, you probably won’t get any response, and that’s normal because perception is affected by cognitive disease. This means that the persons facing Alzheimer’s might not see you even if you are there in front of them. Needless to say, they might not hear you either.

What is Perception?

When I was at McGill university studying psychology, I had a class called PERCEPTION, and it was amazing how much I learned. Most of us are familiar with optical illusions; well, all our senses can be tricked like that. That’s perception. There is a thing there, but some people see it one way, some others see it differently. We can even see one thing two different ways depending where our eyes are staring. 

Perception doesn’t only trick our eyes. I remember, a few years ago, watching waterfalls and wondering how it was possible for my ear to perceive different sounds. If I was watching the whole picture, I heard a continuous “sch”, but if I focused on a drop of water falling down, and then another, and another, I could hear discontinuous water sounds. 

All this to say that perception has little to do with the health of our ears or eyes or taste buds. It has to do with brain connections, so make sure the persons in need of your care perceive you, because sometimes they can be looking at you but are actually looking through you. A smile will often tell you if the person has perceived you or not.

2. Smile

If you smile, once you have made eye contact, usually the person will smile back. That’s a good sign of connection. If you don’t get a response, go on to the next essential step: touch; make sure you don’t go too fast because you might startle the person you want to help. Unfortunately, I’ve seen that happen many times. It takes more time for their brain to process information.

3. Slower Body Moves

Avoiding exaggeration because it might be perceived as unnatural, we need to move more slowly than usual. Remembering to breathe in and out in a calm manner will help you find the right pace for each situation. Once contact is made, then you can dance and get excited, but first, make sure you are perceived, slowly, especially if you need to touch a person’s arm in order to get their attention. When an individual is sleeping or unaware of your presence, it is important to move deliberately. Take your time.

4. Touch

I always recommend touching the outer and upper side of the arm first. That part of the body is not as sensitive as the inner part of the arm or leg and is not associated with intimacy like the hands can be. If people don’t recognize you at first, they could be disturbed by your presence, so keep a safe distance while touching their upper arm. Don’t put your face too close to theirs and wait before saying anything or just say hello, calmly.

5. Few Words and Even Fewer Questions

Silence is golden, but for some of us, it is the hardest thing to tolerate. I can’t insist enough, you need to develop your capacity for just being with the person in silence. It’s a beautiful gift you can give yourself. Out of silence often come poetry, loving words, feelings of safety and more. If you can’t tolerate silence, put on a song, not just music playing in the background. Play one song or a piece of music that you know the person likes, and that you enjoy as well. You can offer your hands to hold. Please don’t take them without asking with your eyes and with just one word or two if necessary. Less is more in Alzheimer’s land.

6. Music, Dance or Singing

 

Music is a powerful tool for the brain. It stimulates the areas where language is processed, where movement is triggered and where emotions are expressed. You can do a lot with one song, if you take the time to listen to it WITH the person in need of your care and create a bond dancing or singing together; you can also just hold hands.

 

7. Accept What Is

 

If nothing works? It can happen. Go home. Take a bath or any other thing that makes you feel good again and remember, sometimes, it doesn’t work. That’s what dementia is. It is unexpected. It is a challenge. And when you regain your courage, go back and try again.